Hey Jenny Slater. Hey Jenny Slater.

This post will be… uncomfortable for some of you. For others, it will be very “dinosaur discusses social media”. Some might applaud. Many will boo. But I think it’s important that we, as Illini fans, talk about this. Can we maybe not be THOSE PEOPLE on Twitter? [Read more...]

Slapdash – Hoopyball Edition

I hope “hoopyball” isn’t trademarked or anything.  At least I hope it’s not a term associated with someone’s writing.  I see it on Twitter from time to time, and I think it’s funny, so I’m going to start using it until someone contacts my lawyer, Brumby F. Brumby Esq.  Anyway, I have a few minutes, so here’s some random hoops thoughts slapped together haphazardly. [Read more...]

Summer Recap

What’s up Illini fans? This is Tyler Griffey and I’m happy to announce that Chew Softly is coming back to IlliniBoard for yet another season! I’m really excited to be able to continue on what we started last year and I’m ready to give you guys an even greater inside look into the totally unglamorous lifestyle of a professional basketball player in Europe. [Read more...]


I feel like I missed so much by being off the grid in Washington for the Jawun Evans visit/Tracy injury/Brunson decision week. I try to read a lot of stuff on hoops recruiting, and so many things I’ve read recently have led to me having this “wait, I had to have missed something else that week” reaction. I shall attempt to explain.

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Looks Like University Of Illinois – Jalen Coleman

Had lunch with a friend today. He’s starting a website, and he wanted to chat about integrating Twitter with his blog.  As I was explaining how I link the two, a tweet popped up on my home screen. “(These three people) retweeted Jalen Coleman’s tweet”. What, pray tell, might Jalen Coleman have tweeted? [Read more...]


It’s very rare to be 100% disconnected these days. Remember that awful Minnesota football game at the end of the 2011 season? I watched that game on my phone in Eldorado Canyon State Park in Colorado while my son was rock climbing. We’re never not connected. Unless, apparently, you go to Washington state and head to the mountains. [Read more...]


It means nothing.  But it’s never happened before, so it means something.  But if nothing comes from it, it didn’t mean a thing.  Of course, if something comes from it, this is a wildly significant time period in Illini basketball history, because this has never happened before.  But it still might end up to be nothing.

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Basketball Schedule Thoughts

The August Question is dead. Long live the August Question.

If you’ve been on any Illini website the last 15 years, you know the August Question. Some message board user, or some article commenter, will ask “when does the Illini basketball schedule come out?” The safe answer became “mid-to-late August”. It was usually out by August 15th or so, but sometimes it was almost Labor Day. This year? July 25th.

Granted, the wait was usually for the Big Ten to settle the TV times for the conference schedule, and those still aren’t out yet. They released the opponents in February, but the times and dates won’t be released until, wait for it, mid-to-late August.

Still, I like it this way. I like knowing the full slate of games this early. And when I look over this schedule, I spy a watershed moment.

Our last Sweet 16 appearance was nearly 10 years ago. (Our last Sweet 16 appearance was nearly 10 years ago?) Our last Sweet 16 appearance was nearly 10 years ago. Not since Wisconsin-Milwaukee and Arizona at Rosemont – March of 2005 – has Illinois made it to the Sweet 16. If the Weber era ever needed an exclamation point, there it is. Illinois. 10 years between Sweet 16′s.

I say 10 years because I expect to get there this season. It’s time. 10 years is too long. Roster that returns all of the starters from the late-season surge, freshmen becoming sophomores, Cosby and Starks, Finke and Black, it’s time.

When do we announce it’s our time? My first thought was at the Las Vegas Tournament in November, but I don’t think a win over Baylor or Memphis is enough to say HELLO WORLD WE’RE BACK.

(As an aside, how interesting is Thanksgiving weekend? A basketball game against Indiana State on Thanksgiving night. Then a game against either Baylor or Memphis that Friday night. And then a football game on Saturday at Northwestern, possibly with a bowl on the line. Sweep that weekend with a bowl berth on the football end and the new uniforms will be shining brightly.)

But for basketball, I still don’t think that’s the watershed moment. I actually think we lose one of either Baylor/Memphis or the game at Miami four days later in the Big Ten/ACC Challenge. Miami might not be very good, but road game, early in the season, plus Baylor and Memphis might both be good – I could see a loss in there.

Beat American at home, so then we’re 7-1 (or 8-0), maybe on the fringe of the rankings, heading to New York City on a Tuesday night in December to face top-15 Villanova on ESPN. I’ll be cheering for Villanova to win the Legends Classic in November (Michigan, Oregon, VCU, Villanova), because if they do, I could see Nova at something like #7 in the polls. And if that’s the case…


Win that game, and let’s roll. We’ll beat Oregon at the United Center (they were probably going to be good, but three of their projected starters were arrested for sexual assault and kicked off the team in May). We’ll beat Hampton at home (Hampton is the one with the coach kicking the air after beating 2-seed Iowa State, right?), and then it’s Missouri in St. Louis.

Missouri lost… everything. Earnest Ross and Tony Criswell graduated. Jabari Brown and Jordan Clarkson declared for the NBA. Zach Price was kicked off the team. Shane Rector transferred. Of the players who played against us last year in the Braggin’ Rights game, they return two: Wes Clark, who scored three points, and Johnathan Williams, who scored six. They return one starter and 22% of their scoring with a new coach fresh from Division II (and that’s all from a team we beat). They should be awful.

Beat them, beat Kennesaw State, and we should be ranked and rolling as we enter the Big Ten schedule. That is, of course, if we beat Villanova. Lose to Villanova, and maybe it’s not the roll that I can picture from here. But, well, just picture it this way:

*Takes a sip from orange Kool-Aid, wipes mouth, begins typing*

November arrives, and we sign two four stars and a five star to go along with Williams and Jordan, making it one of the top three recruiting classes in school history,

*Takes a big long gulp of Kool-Aid*

A few nights later, our first look at the 2014/15 team, where we see that Aaron Cosby is pretty good and that Nunn and Hill are sophomore leapin’ and Tracy/Ray/Nnanna show us that senior-heavy teams are usually successful. We also get to see Ahmad Starks and Leron Black for the first time, and maybe even a bulked-up Maverick Morgan.

*Puts on Kool-Aid Man costume, runs through wall*

We win our first four easily and then go to Vegas and win it, beating Baylor in the final. And then we go to Miami and get revenge. And we also knock off an Oregon team that beat us last year and a Missouri team that lost everything. Illinois Basketball, new uniforms, third-of-the-way-there renovated State Farm Center, top recruiting class coming in, on an unstoppable roll.

The one thing I didn’t mention? The Villanova game. To me, from this vantage point, that could be the watershed moment. A tumble from 2006 to 2012, and then a rebuild, kick-started by the Maui Invitational win in November 2012. Now it’s two years later, December game, highly ranked Villanova, Madison Square Garden, national TV, our experienced, senior-heavy team…

Let’s announce our full return.

Fall Visits

Feels like 1991 up in here.  In those days, back when and you’d rush back to your dorm room after class to watch Saved By The Bell on TBS at 3:00 (just me?), you followed basketball recruiting through fall visits.  That’s when you knew a player was interested in your school, and when he verballed, you found out in the newspaper or on the evening news.  No, really, that’s what we did. [Read more...]

Bully Pulpit

It’s a dangerous thing. You make a statement on your blog, and then people respond that statement through email or Twitter, and then you have this ability to respond in public while they’re restricted to private conversation. Yes, they can maybe respond in the comments section, but really, a voice gives you the ability to set an agenda.  I try to avoid that, generally. [Read more...]