I need to address you and your brother with one thing:
You speak (above) of how your "traditional Christian values" are being looked down upon in the responses you received. And I just need to let you know how far your actions have departed from that. You wounded me and don't seem to care (besides "shouldn't have said that BUT..."). In my view, you've chosen the way of the Pharisee, the belief that you're doing The Right Thing blinding you to how much damage you're inflicting.
I'd be willing to meet to discuss this if you two are up to it. You have my email and you can reach me on Slack. Personally, I want to tell you more about my wife's friend who passed away. I want to tell you what kind of person she was, and what she'd want to see come out of all of this.