The 90 Illini #54: Kaleb Patterson

I just drove across campus. Drove a route I haven't driven in a long time – heading east on Springfield, then left on Goodwin – and I immediately flashed back to a moment on campus. I think I've told this story before on a podcast episode so this might be a repeat for you but...

I needed to go somewhere in Urbana. I can't remember where but it was somewhere near Lincoln and University. Too far to walk from 3rd and Chalmers. Bryan, my roommate for second semester sophomore year, let me borrow his scooter.

I mapped out a route. As I recall, I went up 3rd to Springfield, then Springfield to Goodwin, the left on Goodwin up to University, and then right on University. Since this was my first time ever on a scooter, I think I was assuming that I'd encounter less traffic by taking that route.

He shows me how to use it and I zoom off. Pretty fun, right? I remember immediately thinking that I should get a scooter. Why walk to class or ride a bike if you can just wing-ning-ning-ning-ning your way everywhere? I negotiate the right turn onto Springfield with precise precision.

Then I get to Goodwin. This will be my first left turn. I start my left turn and... I don't know how to make a left turn. For the right turn I had rolled to a stop at an angle, looked for traffic, and then continued the slow turn onto Springfield. For this, it's a rolling turn and I don't know that I need to lean a little bit.

So I miss the street. I go up onto the sidewalk. There are students everywhere, walking between classes. They have to get out of my way as I wing-ning up the handicap ramp onto the sidewalk.

What do I do then? What anyone would do. I pretended like I had reached my destination. I hop off the scooter and put the little kickstand down. Sold "meant to do that" as hard as I could sell it. Acted like I was getting something out from under the seat. Basically, I stayed busy until anyone who was there on the corner when I zoomed up the curb cut had walked on. And then I walked the scooter back down to the street and zoomed off.

I did make it to my destination (and back) with no further issues. I used a parking lot near my destination to practice left turns before I got back out on the road. And then I made it all the way back with no issues.

But if you were on campus in the spring of 1993, walking near Goodwin and Springfield, and some dude almost hit you with a scooter as you were simply walking down the sidewalk....

Sorry 'bout that.